Shine bright like a diamond

Big weekend you guys - You know what I'm talking about. It's new Pope weekend!!

There's 2 things I know for sure about new Pope weekend:

1. It almost always coincides with St. Paddy's Day.
2. I know nothing about new Pope weekend.

Seriously, though, we need to really rock this out for the big guy. Am I Catholic? Nope. I'm also only part Irish (the good part), but that's not gonna stop me from doing what Catholics do third best! (Drinking, in case you didn't figure that part out. Comes after being depressed about football and sinning. At the risk of offending or outing my Catholic friends, I'm going to leave "sinning" as a broad statement.)

I dunno about you, but I love green beer about as much as I love any kind of green alcohol.  Or any colored beer, for that matter. Moreso if we're talking that apple pucker shit. Basically it being green has no purpose other than it's fun and will match my outfit. But, I'm SUPER PUMPED FOR IT! Some of my favorite things to do on St. Paddy's day are hanging out with my friends, walking around, not pinching people because that's weird, listening to awesome voicemails people leave in my hotel room (this is a real thing. click on it ), hanging out on hotel balconies playing drinking games, and also sometimes I enjoy a beer or cocktail or 20. Seeing as how this year I'm still off the vodka (16 more days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) we'll be doing a lot of the beer thing. Nothin says Paddy's day like a green beer mustache that just won't quit!

In order to make this St. Patrick's day more fun, I'll be doing this in a group of people instead of alone. I suggest you do the same. Drinking alone only has it's pros when you're puking and you don't want people to see you. Or when someone broke up with you via text message and you don't want people to see you. Or if you have no friends so you don't care if people see you because there is no one to see you. Also, drinking green beer at home can be a little dangerous. I know from experience that a little dab'el do ya. No need for 4 squirts in one pint. (that's what she said?). Basically you'll ruin your tongue color for a week but everything is fine. 

I will be celebrating on Saturday and Sunday and I'm hoping to get people on board to play this drinking game with me - so please, let's make this a thing. I'm putting it in writing so we can pull it up when we're out and we don't remember.

1. Drink any time you see a real life ginger. 
2. Drink any time you see an asshole trying to dance like a leprechaun.
3. Double drink any time you see a real life ginger asshole dancing like a leprechaun.
4. Drink every time you stand in line for more than  5 minutes for anything. (jk don't do that, you'll only ever be drinking)
5. Drink any time you see someone peeing or puking in a place that's not a bathroom.
6. Everyone you're with has to drink if you see a black irishman. Like, a real one. 
7. Take a shot every time you hear about gold at the end of a rainbow.
8. Marry the person who has actual gold at the end of a rainbow.
9. Drink every time you see someone with a green peen on their face. (or their body. Who am I to judge?!)

K I WOULD LOVE TO STAY BUT I NEED TO START PREPPING MY LIVER ! 

Ps you guys what if we had a black pope? the world would've exfreakingsploded!


BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE