Riggity Rap Songs

Hey!!! Long time no blog. I'm so sorry for leaving you for this long but there's 2 things I know for sure about distance:

1. It makes the heart grow fonder.
2. If it's between you and your internet girlfriend for so long that you never meet, it's probably a friend of yours fucking with you, so don't get too upset when she fake dies.

That catfish stuff is crazy right?! I mean, sure, there was a documentary and now tv show about real life people doing it - but not 2nd place Heisman almost winner's. That is some wackadoo stuff. 

I thought maybe we could take a break from catfishing and focus on a more important aspect of life-

Rap songs.

You know how sometimes you're in your car and you just downloaded the number 1 rap song on itunes and you don't understand half of what they're talking about because you're a white girl from Nashville, TN that relies on her black work roommates for all of your urban information?? Well, lucky for you - with the help of my Boy Co-Worker, I have broken down (decompressed, if you will. (shout out Draughns junior college associates degree style big word!)) this popular rap song for you into white people language. I hope you can follow along, It was really hard work. And, I'm not just saying that so you'll feel bad for me, I'm saying that because I want you to know how much I love and care about you so that I can gain your trust and in a year from now you can find out that I'm not who I say I am at all, and in fact, I fake died of elphantits. (rip, future catfish me)

No, but seriously - this is long. And it made my brain hurt. But it was totally worth it. The black part is the actual lyrics, the red part is the white people translation. Why is it red? because it can't be white or you wouldn't be able to read it (gadoi).

I give you.. Clique - by Big Sean, Kanye West, and Jay-Z



 

(Hook: Big Sean)

Ain't nobody fucking with my
Clique, clique, clique, clique, clique
Ain't nobody fresher than my muthafuckin
Clique, clique, clique, clique, clique
As I look around, they don't do it like my
Clique, clique, clique, clique, clique
And all these bad bitches, man, they want the
They want the, they want the

(Hook: Large Shane)

Nobody is going to mess with my

Bffs, bffs, bffs, bffs, bffs

Nobody is cooler than my freaking

Bffs, bffs, bffs, bffs, bffs

When I search the landscape nobody is quite like my

Bffs, bffs, bffs, bffs, bffs

And every really pretty girl, bruh, they want the

They want the, they want the

(Verse 1: Big Sean)

I tell a bad bitch do whatever I say
My block behind me like I'm coming out the driveway
It's grind day, from Friday, to next Friday
I been up straight for nine days, I need a spa day
Yup, she trying get me that poo-tang
I might let my crew bang, my crew deeper than Wu Tang
I'm rolling with... fuck I'm saying? Girl, you know my crew name
You know 2 Chainz? Scrrr! I'm pulling up in that Bruce Wayne
But I'm the fucking villain, man, they kneeling when I'm walking in the building
Freaky women I be feeling from the bank accounts I'm filling
What a feeling, ah man, they gotta be
Young player from the D that's killing everything that he see for the dough

(Hook) 

(Verse 1: Large Shane)

When I speak to a beautiful woman I tell her to do what I tell her to

I’m friends with my neighbors so they will let me know if someone is trying to break into my house

I literally work 7 days a week – and I haven’t slept for 9. I need a massage.

Yes, She is trying to have sexual relations with me.

I would maybe let my best friends have sex with her – but I have a lot of best friends.

Here are some of my best friend’s names…jaykay, guys. You know who I hang out with.

Have you heard of that rapper named 2 chainz? Oh wait – here comes the Batmobile.

But jokes on you, you guys, because I’m the Joker. People pray when I’m around.

All the girls who are experienced sexually love me because I make a lot of money.

This is a really good day for a guy from Detroit who likes to date a lot of women and do illegal things for money

(Hook)

(Verse 2: Jay-Z)

Yeah, I'm talking Ye, yeah, I'm talking Rih
Yeah, I'm talking B, nigga, I'm talking me
Yeah, I'm talking bossy, I ain't talking Kelis
Your money too short, you can't be talking to me
Yeah, I'm talking LeBron, we ball in our family tree
G.O.O.D. Music drug-dealing cousin, ain't nothing fuckin' with we, me
Turn that 62 to 125, 125 to a 250
250 to a half a million, ain't nothin' nobody can do with me
Now who with me? ¡Vámonos! Call me Hov or Jefe
Translation: I'm the shit, least that what my neck say
Least that what my check say, lost my homie for a decade
Nigga down for like 12 years, ain't hug his son since the second grade
He never told. Who he gonna tell? We top of the totem pole
It's the Dream Team meets the Supreme Team
And all our eyes green it only means one thing
You ain't fucking with the clique

(Hook) 

(Verse 2: Sean Carter)

Yes, I am talking about Kanye, Yes, I am talking about Rihanna

Yes, I am talking about Beyonce, Friend, I’m talking about myself

Yes, I’m talking about being the boss, but I am NOT talking about Kelis !

If you are a poor I won’t talk to you so don’t try

Yes, I’m talking about being rich like LeBron James, everyone in my family is a rich

I am in the music industry and I also sell illegal substances, so don’t try to mess with me

I can turn $62,000 into $125,000, and then turn that $125,000 to $250,000

AND THEN turn $250,000 into $500,000, and nobody knows how I do it!

Does anybody want to help me do this? Let’s go! You can even call me by my nicknames.

Translation: I am really super awesome, I can buy 24k gold and diamonds.

You can look at my pay stubs – also, my friend got put in jail

He was there for like 12 years and he doesn’t get to see his offspring.

He never turned me into the authorities, besides, who would he tell? My dad is the Judge

And like I said – we’re super rich.

You are not messing with my bffs

(Hook)

(Verse 3: Kanye West)

Break records at Louis, ate breakfast at Gucci
My girl a superstar all from a home movie
Bow on our arrival - the un-American idols
What niggas did in Paris, got 'em hanging off the Eiffel
Yeah I'm talking business, we talking CIA
I'm talking George Tenet, I seen him the other day
He asked me about my Maybach, think he had the same
Except mine tinted and his might have been rented
You know white people get money, don't spend it
Or maybe they get money, buy a business
I rather buy 80 gold chains and go ign'ant
I know Spike Lee gone kill me but let me finish
Blame it on the pigment, we living no limits
Them gold Master P ceilings was just a figment 
Of our imagination, MTV cribs  
Now I'm looking at a crib right next to where TC lives
That's Tom Cruise, whatever she accuse
He wasn't really drunk he just had a frew brews
Pass the refreshments, a cool, cool beverage
Everything I do need a news crew's presence
Speedboat swerve, homie watch out for the waves
I'm way too black to burn from sun rays
So I just meditate at the home in Pompeii
About how I could build a new Rome in one day
Everytime I'm in Vegas they screaming like he's Elvis
But I just wanna design hotels and nail it
Shit is real, got me feeling Israelian
Like Bar Refaeli, Gisele, nah that's Brazilian
Went through, deep depression when my momma passed
Suicide, what kinda talk is that?
But I been talking to God for so long
And if you look at my life I guess he's talking back
Fucking with my clique

(Hook) 

(Verse 3: Kevin East)

I spend a lot of money at Louis Vuitton and I basically go to Gucci every morning, you guys.

I date a girl who is famous because of a sex tape

But America still loves us so much

I made a really good album with my friend last year

We made a lot of money doing it and it was super serious.

I’ve literally been hanging out with the Director of Central Intelligence

He was asking me about my car because he thinks he has the same one

But I put that color tint on my windows and he just leases his

You know how white people like to save their money or put it into businesses

When I come into some money I would rather just spend it stupidly on necklaces

Spike Lee gets upset about it but I guess he just forgot that we’ve been doing this a long time as a culture

Remember Master P’s ceilings on MTV cribs? They were gold, for Christ sake.

I’m also looking into purchasing property in the same neighborhood as TC

That’s Tom Cruise, and you guys, he’s a really good dude no matter what Katie says in their divorce proceedings

He wasn’t drunk on Oprah that day, he just had a little buzz

In fact, I could use a nice cold Budweiser right now, could you pass me one?

Literally everything I do is so awesome that people think it’s newsworthy

Sometimes I ride on my jet ski, so be careful that I don’t splash you

And I don’t even need to wear sun screen because I never get sunburned

So I can just lay out at my vacation home and think about how I have so much money that I could literally build Rome in one day

When I go to Vegas people freak out like they see a dead person who OD’d on his toilet

And it kindof gets on my nerves because, look guys, I’m just trying to make really awesome hotels here.

This is real life! Haha “is real” sounds like Israel.

Isn’t Leonardo DiCapprio’s ex and Tom Brady’s co-parent from there? Oh, no, they are from Brazil.

When my mom died I got really sad and contemplated suicide – but that is so dumb

Instead, I just started praying and then God started speaking to me
So don’t mess with my bff’s

  

(Hook)

OH MY GOSH THAT WAS INCREDIBLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and that boner dollar up there? Yeah, I own that. And I didn't even do it myself. It came that way. 

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE